In many ways, food brought me to Judaism. My husband was born in Israel; several years ago, he took me to visit his homeland for the first time. I was exposed to the incredible Israeli food culture, and I quickly fell in love with the rich history of Middle Eastern cuisine. I came back from that trip with a mission—to recreate the amazing flavors I’d tasted in our home kitchen. I began cooking for our Jewish holiday celebrations and baking challah for Shabbat. As I immersed myself in the ritual tradition of cooking, learning to make dishes that are centuries old (and in some cases even older), I finally felt at home… like I was returning to a place that made my spirit happy.
Last Thursday, I completed that journey home by converting to Judaism. Surrounded by family, under the guidance of my rabbi, I embraced the Jewish faith. I faced the beit din, was immersed in the mikveh, and felt the ancient echoes of our ancestors ring through me. I found my tribe. It was a powerful, beautiful day—one I will never forget.
This journey started back in college, long before I met my husband. I was not raised in a religion; my parents gave me the gift of choice when it came to spirituality. I’ve always known on a deep level that God exists, but the context for understanding my Creator was unclear. For many years I felt adrift, doing my best to find peace in the midst of chaos. Then I took a college writing course called “The Holocaust,” in which I was asked to examine this most heinous event in human history. Signing up for this class proved to be a life-altering choice. I was consumed by memoirs like Night, The Diary of Anne Frank, and All but My Life. I yearned to know the Jewish people better — to understand their faith, optimism and hope, even in the darkest of times. I left the class full of curiosity, my heart open and ready to learn more. It was the beginning of my spiritual awakening, a journey that finally came full circle last week.
For me, becoming Jewish is about joining a larger family and community. What drew me to the Jewish faith was the focus on family, tradition, and reaching out to help others in need. A big part of being Jewish is acknowledging a responsibility to your fellow humans by spreading positive energy in this increasingly complex world. I have accepted that responsibility, and it makes my heart very happy.
I’m sharing this experience with all of you because I feel that food is more than just sustenance. Food is a way of communicating; the energy we pass on through our cooking feeds the body as well as the soul. By writing this blog, and taking a journey into the history of food, I hope to spread positive energy. In the same way a good meal makes people happy, I hope that this blog… and the recipes and stories you find here… make you happy. Every kitchen has a heritage; every recipe has a writer. Knowing the story behind the food– the ancient history, or the family history, or even the history of one particular ingredient– can infuse a dish with meaning. And then a meal becomes more than just food, something that fills you up physically. Food takes on a spiritual significance, and ultimately becomes more nourishing.
I used to call this blog The Shiksa in the Kitchen, and it’s still a nickname that makes me smile. But times change and people grow; as a reflection of me, this website must also evolve to proudly reflect a new stage in my life. You’ll see some changes coming to the site over the next year, and hopefully those changes will more clearly reflect who I am as a person and as a new “member of the Tribe.” I am thrilled to have you join me on this journey.
If you read my blog, you are probably somebody who loves food. That’s something we all share. A good meal can bring warmth and joy to anybody, no matter who you are or where you come from. I welcome all faiths and backgrounds to join me on my journey into the heart of food history. Everybody is welcome here. Our diversity makes us stronger!
Linda Bergantini Bloom says
Mazel Tov, for me it was just about 32 years ago!!
Linda Davies says
Tori I am making your hamentashen prune as we speak! Mazel Tov.
Carla Sullivan Phoenix says
How generous of you to share such a special event with us ! Gosh, it looks like a wedding and a birthday wrapped in one. Mazel Tov !
Ellen Nessen says
Mazel Tov ??
Teresa Sanders says
Thank you for sharing this memory with us.
Susan says
I just discovered your wonderful blog. As someone who is Jewish born, I just wanted to welcome you to the tribe, albeit a bit late 🙂
Bill Robinson says
I never understood why anyone would want to become a Jew. I am Jewish, both parents & all grandparents were Jewish, and there are few people less religious or more devout than I. I believe in G-d, speak to HIM (sorry ladies, my image of G-D is a noble man with long white hair and a neat but flowing beard) often, and tried to raise my children as believing Jews who were proud of their heritage and didn’t need to go to shul to prove they were Jewish.
Reading these comments from people who converted to Judaism (welcome to the most difficult religion on the planet), I have seen nothing to change my mind that you gotta be crazy. But regardless, you all sound like terrific people and I welcome you all to our faith and our heritage. I would recommend a trip to Israel for all of you–then you will truly understand what a terrific group you have joined and will know that we ARE the Chosen People. Welcome!
Anna says
I have always had the same interest in the Jewish people and even took Jewish Studies as a minor in college.
Despite being a shiksa all my Jewish friends are convinced I’m Jewish and I suppose, if I wasn’t an atheist, I’d be a Jew.
What an amazing committment you have made. I’m sure all your family must be very proud and happy you’ve found your own path. Although this all happened years ago I’d still like to say mazel tov.
Tori Avey says
Thank you Anna!
LYN COHEN says
Hi Tori,
I have just read your story. I am very moved. I was converted 42 years ago. I didn’t have much affiliation to my former religion.I met my husband, and I was converted after we were married.The feeling was so incredibly amazing. I felt that I had just been born.I believe that Hashem had planned this all out. We had 37 years together. As I write this note to you it is his Yahrzeit today(8years). Since then, I have moved from my home to be near my kids & grandkids, and have taken up catering for Shabbats & Yomtovs. I feel wonderful.I shall certainly be reffering to your blog often.
Be well.Lyn
Tori Avey says
Thank you for writing Lyn, and for sharing your story. Blessings!
Mar Eiah says
Hi…I am dating a jewish guy for a long time and i am planning to convert to judaism…but I have a 12 yr old daughter…how can I explain to her…we are Catholics. ..
Tori Avey says
Hi Mer– this question is best addressed with the rabbi who helps you through your conversion process.
Sushma says
I am from India and in our language Shiksha means EDUCATION. So in a way you are teaching people about cooking!!!
pia says
Yiddish is a language based on 2,000 years of persecution. It takes words from other languages and make fun of them. Once in Bern I was in a department store and froze when I saw a department called “kinder shmuck” Shmuck means garden in German. In Yiddish it means prick. As in “That person is a shmuck.” There is a great logic to the word. I love Yiddish and wish I had been exposed to it more as a child!
steven klein says
couldn’t put your story down – very moving and very emotional – you are so fortunate to have found your way in life when most others just ramble and find their way by accident. I salute you for your bravery, insight and compassion.
Tori Avey says
Thank you Steven!
Elaine S. says
I found your blog about a year ago and find you a fascinating cook with wonderful stories . I have three grandchildren living in Ateret, Israel which is a yeshuv in the West Bank. The eldest is ten and the youngest is six. My ten year old granddaughter knows how to make and braid challah. I was told also that little girls also learn to crochet so that they can make keepa’s for their husbands. Sorry my son is not married to their mom anymore but I feel she’s another daughter.
Howard says
Dear Tori,
Eating tsimmes from your recipe right now (my wife substituted dried apricots for the apples). Delicious! Great Blog. Looking forward to eating our way through all of your recipes.
H
Viviana says
Mazal Tov! We are always happy to ad somebody who loves Judaism to the tribe!
I hope that you had the chance to eat a good falafel and shawarma meal in Israel.
nina says
i found your site a few weeks ago and keep coming back, not just because there are not kashrut issues, but because they are just plain amazing!
next time you come to israel i’d love to meet you!
Tulip says
Found your blog today (Jan 2013) looking for recipes and was interested by your story of conversion. I became interested in Judaism in the mid50s (at age eight!) and converted in 1970, more for the beliefs that matched mine than the culture. Congratulations on the change, which I hope lasts your whole life.
Betsy says
Hi Tori —
I stumbled on your website this morning as I was looking for a new, delicious recipe for real Jewish chicken soup. Yours looks wonderful. I plan to try it tomorrow, to take to a friend who’s sick and has been complaining about how boring the canned chicken soups are! (Yech… haven’t used those in years.)
My (Orthodox) conversion to Judaism occurred 53 years ago, at Harvard Hillel, in my senior year of college. I had been engaged to a Jewish Boy who turned out not to be so Nice after all. I broke it off, but continued to study with my rabbi for a year, although he was reluctant to allow me to convert as a “single girl”! Fortunately, another Really Nice Jewish Boy appeared on the scene, and we were married at Hillel House a couple of months after my conversion. His family was anything but Orthodox, though. I used to joke that I taught him everything he knew about Judaism, and I was only half kidding.
Our three kids (now ranging from 52 down to 42, with families of their own) all had Bar or Bat Mitzvahs. As they were growing up, we kept the holidays and Shabbat; they all remember lovingly those Friday nights when I lit candles and their father read aloud about “a woman of valor”. Rather oddly, none of them married a Jewish spouse. One son became a Methodist. The other son and his “shiksa” wife (a fabulous person, my daughter-in-law) joined a Reform temple with many intermarried couples; their now mid-teenaged children both had Bar and Bat Mitzvahs and both taught Sunday school at the temple. My daughter and her husband don’t identify themselves as adherents to either Christianity or Judaism; but she keeps her menorah lovingly displayed.
My husband and I divorced, amicably, after 25 years. I remarried ten years later, to an Episcopalian I had known back in college days. For 17 years I’ve lived with a churchgoing spouse, no longer overtly observant of the Jewish holidays, but missing the sense of community in my heart. Although at the beginning he encouraged me to light Shabbat candles, I demurred. I said ours was not a Jewish home, and I didn’t feel like putting on “the Jew show” for him — but thanks for the offer, anyway.
My beloved Episcopalian husband died two months ago. Along with the stresses of caregiving through a horrendous year of health problems for him, and along with the grief and numbness that seem to have taken me over since he died, I am feeling increasingly that I might seek out a Reform congregation one of these days, and take up more or less where I left off. I was never able to attach myself to his church community, although they have been wonderful to me since I became a widow. His memorial service will take place at his church, and his ashes will be interred there. (Southern California has no problem with winter burials or interments, unlike the Northeastern area, where my first husband couldn’t be buried in January, but had to wait a couple of months till the ground thawed!)
So that’s my circular story. I’ve been inspired by reading not only your blog, but the thoughtful and encouraging comments as well. So many of them come from young women who have also converted to Judaism! I had no idea there were so many of us out there… their comments and your blog have made me feel proud and happy, all over again and decades later, of having had the courage to take that step in my youth.
Mazel tov to all of you, and thank you.
Angel says
Hi Tori:
I found your site looking for Rosh Hashanah recipes and found it much more than a cooking blog. As a husband of a jewish lady I was wondering if there is the equivalent word for Shiksa in masculine. Will try your Braid Challah and will let you know how it goes. I also loved the experience to visit Israel (during honeymoon).
Regards from Spain!
Betsy says
Hi Angel —
I believe the masculine equivalent of “shiksa” might be “shaigetz”. Could be wrong, but that’s what I recall…
Betsy