My regular blog readers have probably noticed that I’ve been pretty “quiet” over the past couple of weeks—no new blogs or recipes and only a few Facebook updates and “tweets.” Between the busy Hanukkah season and a terrible winter cold, I was exhausted. I was also dealing privately with a death in the family. Ever since I was born, I have associated this remarkable woman with Christmas and the holiday traditions of my childhood, so it’s a particularly difficult loss at this time of year. Today I’d like to tell you about my great aunt, Pauline Perozzi, and the holiday joy she inspired in the heart of our family.
As most of you know, I was not born Jewish. I wasn’t raised in any particular religion, but my mom’s side of the family has been Christian for as long as we can remember. My great aunt Pauline was a member of the local Catholic mission church; she was well known in the community as a warm, kind-hearted person. She was a member of the Farm Bureau for Women and the Red Hat Society. She played the organ and piano by ear. She was the type of person you were proud to call family; just the mention of her name brought a smile to everybody’s face. And, for about as long as anybody can remember, she has hosted our family’s Christmas Eve celebration.
It was from Aunt Pauline and her sister, my Grandma Carolyn (who we also lost recently), that I learned the importance of family holiday traditions. Pauline and Carolyn were born and raised near Big Springs, Nebraska. They were the great grandchildren of Swedish immigrants who moved to Nebraska in the late 1800’s. Pauline and Carolyn were farmer’s daughters; growing up they were taught how to can cherries and make noodles from scratch. When my Grandma Carolyn married her husband Robert, they moved to California and brought along Aunt Pauline, who was unmarried at the time. In this way, our family settled and planted roots in San Luis Obispo, California—the same town I was born in, and my mother before me.
Pauline and Carolyn (2nd and 3rd from left) with brothers and sisters
At the tender age of 21, my Aunt Pauline was already considered an “old maid schoolteacher” when she met her husband Dennis Perozzi in 1952. Uncle Dennis is a farmer who raises beef cattle on his peaceful ranch in the rolling countryside of San Luis Obispo. Aunt Pauline was well suited to farm life, and also to Uncle Dennis. They had four children together and lived happily married for 56 years.
Pauline and Dennis get married.
From the time I was born we celebrated Christmas in the same way, spending Christmas Eve at Aunt Pauline’s ranch and Christmas day with Grandma Carolyn. Christmas Eve at the ranch was a particularly unique gathering that brought our diverse and scattered family together to celebrate in a magnificent fashion. When I was fourteen years old, I wrote a column about the experience for our county newspaper. Here’s an excerpt:
Since before I can remember, the chain of events is the same. We meet Jake at the door, pet his hairy arthritic back, and coo to him lovingly. Jake is a good dog. Then in we tromp, chilled from walking through the wintery grass fields, to the fire-warmed Perozzi ranch house.
A stuffed cougar mounted above the Christmas tree seems to leer “Joy to the World” as we enter. The smell of boiling soup stock greets our anxious noses as welcomes are belted out from the group sitting around the dining room table. Hugs commence as my great aunt Pauline Perozzi passes out soup bowls. New additions to the family are coddled, the elders acknowledged respectfully, and dinner is happily devoured. My cousins and I head off to our own corner of the house while the adults talk about taxes and work and Christmas traffic.
Christmas tree at the ranch.
The family piano is treated harshly as we experiment with “chopsticks” on the worn keys. When the piano becomes boring, we race to the hors d’oeuvre table and dare each other to try the jerky made with deer meat. We stuff ourselves with frosting and cake and cookies.
Just as things begin to die down and children begin to yawn, caroling commences. In off-key voices, we sing “Silent Night,” “Oh, Come All Ye Faithful,” and finally “Jingle Bells.” At the height of the merriment, in bursts Santa Claus (an uncle in costume) with an elf in tow. We older cousins, who have been sitting in the same lap at the same ranch house for years, act too cool for Santa until our name is called. Then, strutting up to the jolly man with anticipation in our hearts, we tell him whether we’ve been good or bad this year. No matter what we say, we get a candy cane and a present (which inevitably pleases us). Then comes the fun of watching screaming babies go through the torture of sitting on Santa’s lap… hilarious, because only a decade before, we had been afraid of him as well.
Me and my chubby cheeks, sitting on Santa’s lap, age 10
Eventually, with a jolly “Ho Ho Ho” and a toss of candy to the floor, Santa Claus leaves to bring other children presents around the world. We pounce on the candy greedily and let a few pieces melt in our mouths between yawns. We are anxious to return home to our warm beds and soft pillows. Christmas Eve is drawing to a close, and we must all return home to fall asleep… and then again to awaken, when Christmas morning’s sunlight opens our eyes. Waiting will be a tower of presents, wrapped to be unwrapped; and my family, as we celebrate life and love and Christmas joy.
Me with Aunt Pauline and Uncle Dennis, Christmas Eve 2008
Losing a matriarch like my Aunt Pauline or Grandma Carolyn leaves a gaping hole in the family structure. It can prove a daunting task to keep the holiday traditions alive after they’re gone, but carry on we must. Our holiday traditions are what make us special, give us our identity. They keep our children connected to their past from generation to generation. Part of the reason I was drawn to Judaism was this very emphasis on tradition. We say the Shabbat prayer and light the candles the same way our ancestors did thousands of years ago. It’s part of what keeps us connected to our history, to the essence of who we are.
Four generations celebrate Christmas. That’s me as a baby, my Grandma Carolyn holding me, my great grandma sitting in the rocking chair, and my mom.
For my mom’s birthday this year, I gave her a beautiful wooden nutcracker from Germany. I told her it’s because we are now the matriarchs of our family… we are responsible for carrying on the holiday traditions that my grandma and great aunt were so diligent about each year. The holidays will never look the same way they did when Aunt Pauline and Grandma Carolyn were alive. The landscape will change, different houses will play host, new decorations will adorn the mantle, new babies and children will open their gifts with breathless excitement. In interfaith families like mine, holidays will be celebrated in new ways thanks to a uniting of different religions and cultures. But one thing remains the same—the strength and love of family, and the ancestral bond that ties us together for every holiday to come.
Here is a gift from my family to yours, my Aunt Pauline’s recipe for Missouri Cookies. She made them every year for Christmas Eve. They were one of my favorite treats growing up, and they’re so easy to make—no baking required. I hope you have a chance to enjoy these delicious cookies with your family during the holiday season… Aunt Pauline would have wanted it that way.
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Aunt Pauline's Missouri Cookies
Ingredients
- 1/2 cup unsalted butter (1 stick)
- 3/4 cup granulated sugar
- 3 tablespoon cocoa
- 1/2 cup milk
- 1 teaspoon vanilla
- Dash salt
- 3/4 cup chunky peanut butter
- 3 cups quick oats
Instructions
- Melt butter in a saucepan over medium heat. Whisk in sugar, cocoa, milk and salt. Turn up heat and bring mixture to a full rolling boil for 1 minute. Remove from heat.
- Stir the chunky peanut butter and vanilla into the chocolate mixture.
- Add quick oats to the pan; mix all ingredients together till well combined.
- Form the mixture into small cookies (a heaping tablespoon of batter each) and lay them on wax or parchment paper to cool. Shape them like rough, flat haystacks-- they don't need to look perfect, that's part of the charm.
- Cookies will set in 30-45 minutes.
Nutrition
Sorry for you loosing your Aunt. She seemed to have had a huge impact of your family. Good that you keep her memories alive and sharing them with so many of us.
Julia
My Great Aunt Ruth from Missouri made these a lot. I haven’t had the nerve to make them since she passed away. It would be great to make them this year in honor of her birthday just before Christmas. And you can’t beat such an easy dessert recipe. I just love how you always include some photos of your cooking process and the great stories!
This is a recipe that I was making back in the 60s as a teenager!! Thanks for the reminder.
Thank you for sharing with us information about your family members and their traditions. I loved reading your story. That’s one of the hardest things about time passing–there are more people to miss. I love that other people have fond memories of these delicious cookies. When I was growing up our thoughtful elderly neighbor Vera would make me a plate of these cookies on special occasions or often for no reason. They always made me feel special and they still do.
Thank you for reminding us of a time when everything was as right as rain. I’m 75 now and made these cookies many times while my children were growing up. Thank you for bringing sunshine into my day. Stay safe.
Thank you for sharing your family photos and stories with us. I have never experienced these cookies, but i intend to make them and share with my family. I bet my grandsons, Micah and Jude, will enjoy them. I love making food for my family. And during this time I find myself baking more. Yesterday I made some Peanut Butter cookies(made with extra ground peanuts). Today Sourdough bread is on the docket. Blessings.
The cookies look delicious and I will be making them while we are in isolation. As for your beautiful recollection of your Aunt Pauline and grandmother. It was so lovely to read and brought back such lovely memories of my childhood christmases. I have read your stories for a couple of years now and love all the fabulous stories and recipes. I am from Jewish stock but brought up Christian so learning from you has been wonderful for me.
Every other recipe I can see for these uses 2 cups of sugar (!). While I appreciate that this recipe uses much less, I am unsure that my granddaughters will like them. Does anyone have a “taste-tested review” from kids?
The two cups of sugar make them far too sweet, in my opinion. As written they should be plenty sweet for anybody, kid or adult. You can always taste the batter (no raw egg) and add more to taste if you want.
Will do, Tori –thanks for your quick reply!
At age 84 I can well appreciate the warm family memories you share and thank you for generously sharing. Brought tears to my eyes as I have my own special times to remember but, alas, I am the last of my family remaining who can recall and relive some of those days long ago. I look forward to your Sunday missives, your recipes many of which I have tried with success.
Do take care during this hard time we are facing – keep yourself and loved ones safe for as long as it takes to get over this nasty virus. God bless.
Thank you Anna! We are safe and healthy, thank God, and wishing the same for you and yours. It is bittersweet looking back on those family memories, knowing that they are now a distant past. I remind myself that we are truly blessed to have these wonderful memories, when so many in the world are struggling. I hope to give my 10 month old daughter the gift of her own cherished memories growing up. The cycle continues. 🙂
For Missouri cookies, if we are a nut free family can you share a substitute for peanut butter?
Thank you!
Hi Shelli! I haven’t tried it so not totally sure, but sunflower butter might work well. It tends to be a little more liquid than peanut butter so you may need more oats to hold them together well… hard to know without testing.
Dear Tori,
I am an artist (painter). I get up in the morning with a cup of hot coffee and my emails. Of course, now
it is mostly bad news. When I come to your site, I experience a big sigh of relief. I love your personal approach
to your readers and your thoughtful and generous recipes. Your site is always so full of how-to information.
It’s inspiring Tori. Thank you so much. Judy North
What a nice thing to say Judy! Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I am really glad to be sharing some good energy in this stressful time period. As hard as things are right now, it’s remarkable how many people are making the choice to stay home and protect the community. Very cool to see the world coming together in that way. Cooking can be a real comfort during challenging times… if my site provides any kind of joy or relief during this period, I feel like I’ve accomplished something!
Dear Tori,
I’ve made Missouri cookies for many years when my sons were children. I loved the recipe, because it was
easy, no bake and somewhat nutritious? I enjoyed reading your story, it was very touching, especially at this time of year. Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas Cathy!
You saved my holiday, Tori. Somehow, my grandma’s recipe for Missouri cookies that I kept on an index card fell out of my cookbook and has gone missing. Working up a large batch is a Christmas tradition I try to keep and I feared that googling “Missouri cookies” would leave me twisting in the wind. Your recipe is exactly as I remember it!
Cheers to you and the good people of SLOtown, a place near to my heart and belly!
Joe Whalen
Miles City, Montana
This makes me so happy! I’m grinning ear-to-ear. These cookies bring me such good memories, glad they do the same for you!
Do you know where these cookies got their name? My mom got the recipe from a friend in 1957 and we’ve been making them every since. When we moved from California to Oklahoma I found out everyone here calls them “no bakes”.
I wish I knew! Alas, I do not.
Thank you so much for the beautiful history behind your recipe. I am familiar with where Aunt Paulines ranch was. I lost my NaNa’s recipe for these. My Granma (NaNa) was born and raised in Casseviile, Missouri and always thought this was her original recipe. Brought back wonderful memories. Thank you, Linda
That is so cool Linda!
I have used this recipe for many, many years and love it. They are fairly easy to make and hard to stop eating! Love them.